Book Review: The 'F' Certificate

January is Dystopia in England Month !

Book Review: 'The 'F' Certificate' by David Gurney

3 / 5 Stars

‘David Gurney’ was the pen name of the British writer Patrick Bair, who under the Gurney pseudonym wrote four novels for UK publishers: The 'F' Certificate (1968), The Conjurers (1972), The Devil in the Atlas (1976) and The Evil Under the Water (1977). These works all are out of print and some, such as The Conjurers, have steep asking prices.

Bair also wrote a number of novels under his own name, with the best-known of these the lurid thriller The Necrophiles (1969).

This mass-market paperback edition of ‘The 'F' Certificate’ (188 pp) was published by Mayflower Books in the UK in 1970.

The novel is set in the UK in the early 70s. Rising crime rates are exacerbated by the advent of a bizarre cult in which young people transform themselves into ‘Drummers’ by wearing black clothing, riding around on primordial Segways (called ‘batters’), and taking a heroin-like drug that renders them ‘moon-high’. A distinctive characteristic of the Drummers is their use of a handheld electronic instrument that emits – in a deafening manner - the rhythmic sound that gives the cult its name.

Large packs of Drummers have taken to wandering the English countryside in a zombie-like state; this doesn’t preclude them from carrying out acts of shocking violence, should something provoke them from their drug-addled torpor. England’s judicial system is in the midst of a major debate about whether the Drummers are an imminent threat to society, or simply wayward youths involved in unusual voyages of self-discovery.

As ‘The 'F' Certificate’ opens, feature film producer John Breen is distressed by what appear to be efforts by his senior partner, Nicholas Kerk, to clandestinely film Britain’s first XXX-rated film (one deserving the ‘F’ certificate of the book’s title). Breen views such an effort as an assault on decency and public morals, one that a crumbling England can ill afford to bear, but Kerk is adamant that by presenting such a film, British society will become more accepting of erotic movies – a breakthrough necessary if the financially struggling company is to profit from making and distributing ‘adult’ films.

To condition the UK for the advent of its first film with an ‘F’ certificate, Kerk has arranged for groups of young people to wander unclothed around British beaches, which of course sparks a frenzy of publicity by Fleet Street.

As the narrative unfolds, John Breen tries to discover where and when Kerk’s film is being made, with a view to preserving the company’s dignity and its good relations with the British Film Board. But his efforts are complicated by an alarming phenomenon: the Drummers are swarming the grounds of Lockets, Breen’s country estate……but a violent encounter with the Drummers soon will be the least of Breen’s worries…………

For me, ‘The 'F' Certificate’ was a middling read. Even by the standards of 1968, trying to generate melodrama by devoting a plot to the making of an ‘adult’ film was hardly provocative, and author Gurney’s efforts in this endeavor become less and less convincing as the novel wears on. Indeed, it’s the parallel plot thread involving the menace of the Drummers, and their criminal accomplices, that gives the novel its credible portrayal as a near-future dystopian UK.

Summing up, I can’t recommend searching out ‘The 'F' Certificate’, but if you happen to see it on the shelf of a used bookstore, it may be worth picking up.