Not many people know this, but one of the greatest soul songs of the 1970s was a humor track, titled 'Kung Fu Christmas,' from the 1975 LP Good-bye Pop. The song also is included in the 1978 LP Greatest Hits of the National Lampoon.
You can listen to the track here. Also available is a track with a 70s ghetto / blacksploitation vibe pictorial.
'Kung Fu Christmas' was written by Brian Doyle Murray, with help from Lampoon alums, and Saturday Night Live cast members, Bill Murray and Gilda Radner. Paul Shaffer, David Letterman's band leader, composed the music. The song has a masterful soul groove with lyrics that might have sounded transgressive in '75, but are rather tame nowadays. Still, they perfectly evoke the vibes of the New York City ghetto at Christmastime in the mid-seventies.
A desperate boy wants something to eat
('Cause he's dead on his feet)
To the man in the squad car, it's just his beat
He don't care, he don't live there
He lives in Queens
Not Manhattan or the Bronx or Brooklyn
A thief on the roof, and a mugger in the hall
(Stick 'em up, Stick 'em up)
A baby on the floor eating paint off the wall
(How's he gonna grow tall?)
But there's one time of year that brings joy to one and all
When every race has a smile on its face
Chorus:
Junkie on the corner, the pusher uptown
Digging the Yuletide, Santa's getting down
Holiday colors of red and green
Turkey's big and fat and the gangsta lean
Numbers runner stops for a chat
The Apollo doorman tips his hat and he says:
Have a Kung Fu Christmas
Verse:
Living in the ghetto, you always lose
They'll shoot you for your socks, and they'll stick you for your shoes
When you're a super bad dude, you pay super bad dues
Where fear and strife is a way of life
But there's a man coming today with lots of loot
He's got a pimp-mo sleigh and a red fur suit
He's a Super Fly guy, and he's awful cute
He's about to arrive, bringing Jingle Bell jive
Chorus:
Santa Claus making the Soul Train scene
Slicking down his beard with Afro Sheen
Eeny meeny and miney mo
Frost in your hair and snow up your nose
