National Lampoon August 1976

National Lampoon

August 1976

August, 1976, and the top single in the land is from Elton John and Kiki Dee (sporting a fine 70s 'shag' hairdo): 'Don't Go Breaking My Heart.' In the second spot is 'You Should Be Dancing' by the Bee Gees, because disco music has the country in its grip - ! At number 7 is a Mellow Seventies classic from England Dan and John Ford Coley. 

 

Some good stuff on the chart, 50 years ago....

The front cover of the August National Lampoon promises lots of illicit thrills - 'Compulsory Summer Sex Issue !,' but the cold reality is that this issue is a dud........ 

 

Advertising-wise, we have a new album from James Taylor, In the Pocket, with the track 'Shower the People' soon to become another anthem of the Mellow Seventies Sound. Jethro Tull, another act that peaked in that decade, has their own new album out: Too Old to Rock n' Roll: Too Young to Die. And there are lots of cool Lampoon tee shirts available, showcasing regulars from the magazine's 'Funny Pages.' Back in '76, a full color tee shirt cost less than $6.50.

In the humor department, well, Lampoon cartoonist Sam Gross does some tasteless, offensive stuff with his portfolio 'Jammin' with Sam.'

Back in the days when singles looking for love and adventure used the Personal Ads in the paper (Tinder had yet to be invented), the Lampoon boys made fun of their own market value....

Also taking aim at the singles scene in New York City is Ellis Weiner's 'Looking for Ms. Goodbod,' a satire of the popular novel 'Looking for Mr. Goodbar' by Judith Rossner. 

Weiner's protagonist is a nerdy but sincere Jewish guy named Ronald Green, who plays the oboe and '....subscribed to the Penthouse Forum.' It's a pretty good piece, but at the same time, I felt Lampoon writer Chris Miller could have taken the premise and done something memorable with it.

The Funny Pages have their usual giggles, but do feature a rare contribution- 'Dementia Americana' - from underground comix legend Jim Osborn.
 

If all else fails, well, the Lampoon and 'Foto Funnies' do come through with some boobies !

So that's pretty much it for our August issue. Hopefully, the issues ahead for the remainder of the year are more rewarding.........?! 

Book Review: Floating Dragon by Peter Straub

Book Review: 'Floating Dragon' by Peter Straub

1 / 5 Stars

'Floating Dragon' first was published in 1982 in hardback by Underwood-Miller. This Berkley Books paperback edition (595 pp.) was issued in  March, 1984.

 

I remember reading this Paperback from Hell back in 1984, and finding it underwhelming. Is it any better when revisited 42 years later ? The answer is, unfortunately, no..........

 

The novel is set in May, 1980, in the idyllic bedroom community of Hampstead, Connecticut. Hampstead is all about suburban affluence and comfort, steeped in Old Yankee history - some of this history a trifle unpleasant, involving long-ago murders committed by unstable individuals.

 

As 'Floating Dragon' opens, a laboratory researching clandestine bioweapons has an accident, and an aerosol known as 'DRG-16' escapes into the atmosphere. This 'floating dragon' of the novel's title has varied effects on those exposed to it; some people die instantly, others succumb more gradually. Some people are psychologically deranged, while others seemingly are unaffected. The cloud drifts over Hampstead, and mayhem ensues.

 

Adding to the tragedy, it turns out that a colonial-era warlock, named Gideon Winter (aka The Dragon), has been reincarnated in his past home of Hampstead. Winter is reincarnated every 100 years or so, and he's quite happy to add to the body count triggered by DRG-16. While his true appearance is not very appealing, as in Douglas Wayne Barlowe's portrait (below), Winter has the sort of shapeshifting ability enjoyed by the creatures known as the 'wendigos,' in Straub's 1975 novel 'Ghost Story.' This makes him a particularly worrisome adversary for the hapless residents of Hampstead. 

 

As in a number of novels by Straub and his collaborator Stephen King, there is a Magical Child present in 'Floating Dragon,' in the persona of an adolescent boy named Tabby Smithfield. Like Charlene 'Charlie' McGee in 'Firestarter,' Jack Sawyer in 'The Talisman,' and Danny Torrance in 'The Shining,' Smithfield has some otherworldly abilities, such as precognition and esp. 

 

Smithfield makes the acquaintance of three other Hampstead residents: Graham Williams, Patsy McCloud, and Richard Allbee, all of whom - like Smithfield- are Descendants of the town's original settlers. And, like Smithfield, they also have esper abilities. 

 

The plot basically involves having Winter, in some instances aided and abetted by DRG-16, whittling down the population of Hampstead, while our four heroes struggle to learn just who it is that Winter is impersonating. For all their esper skills, and the vivid hallucinations and visions generated by such skills, the witless four Descendants don't figure out who to target until very late in the novel. 

 

'Floating Dragon' has a lot of the weaknesses of many Paperbacks from Hell. For one thing, it's much too long; the novel would have benefited from being a good 250+ pages shorter in length. There's a rambling, unfocused quality to the narrative that made me fatigued well before the denouement. Indeed, nothing of real import happens until around page 250, when Tabby and some of Hampstead's juvenile delinquents get up to mischief.

 

The narrative is padded with interminable vignettes involving various Hampstead residents and their travails. Once in a while these lend something to the plot, particularly the misadventure of one man, who elects to take a trip into New York City and 42nd Street and its sleaze parlors. This gives 'Floating' a badly-needed episode of dark humor and imbues the narrative with some authentic early 80s flavor. But most of the vignettes Straub trots out aren't very engaging. 

 

The final confrontation with Winter drags on so long, and becomes so tedious, that by the novel's end I really didn't care all that much who lived or died and what became of Hampstead.

 

Summing up, when it comes to Paperbacks from Hell, 'Floating Dragon' is a real dud. It suffers from some of the same problems with wordiness and pacing that afflicted other of Straub's novels ('Koko' comes to mind here). Only those with a formidable patience are advised to pick up 'Floating Dragon.'  

 

P.S. my brother - the same one who coined the (mocking) term 'PorPor book,' just reminded me that when Tabby and the Descendants go to confront Gideon Warlock, they do so singing 'The red, red robin goes bob-bob-bobbing along' to keep up their courage. Fuck.....that's cringe !  

Playboy August 1971

Playboy

August 1971

August, 1971. Atop the Top 40 chart are the newly reunited Bee Gees, with their single 'How Can You Mend a Broken Heart.'

Looking at the cover of the August issue of Playboy magazine, we see an emphasis on 'hot pants,' a fashion sported by many young women in those halcyon days of '71. They arguably are the progenitor of the 'booty shorts' that are popular here and now, in 2026.

This August issue has fiction contributions from two well-known science fiction and fantasy authors. Robert Sheckley provides 'Three Sinners in the Green Jade Moon,' about a British man regularly dining at a restaurant sited on one of the Balearic Islands. There are allusions to jazz music, which didn't do all that much for me.

For his part, Ray Bradbury, in 'My Perfect Murder,' presents a 48 year-old man named Doug Spaulding who decides it's time to revenge himself on his childhood bully. It's a Bradbury story, not a Harlan Ellison story, so it ends on a predictable - lame - note of humanism.

A 'humor' piece, titled 'The Mole People Battle the Forces of Darkness,' comes from Jean Shepard (1921 - 1999), who probably is best known to modern-day audiences as the writer and narrator of the perennial TV movie A Christmas Story. I found 'Mole People' dull and uncomical, but it does feature that staple of Playboy in its glory days: a brilliant illustration (whose artist is, unfortunately, uncredited).

Another short story in this issue is 'Also Known as Cassius,' by Hal Bennett (1936 - 2004). Bennett was one of a number of black / minority authors who found a home in the pages of Playboy in the 1960s and 1970s. My review of Bennett's 1970 novel 'Lord of Dark Places' is here. 

 

'Cassius' is about a twelve year-old black boy's discovery of the how and why he and his mother live in the tony neighborhood of Glen Oaks, and not Niggertown. It's a great little story, one with unsettling overtones, and markedly superior to 'Lord of Dark Places.' 

In the late 60s and early 70s awareness was growing of high-end, sophisticated bicycles that went by the name 'English Racers' and were aimed at adults. 'The Bike Boom,' an article in this August issue, highlights a number of 'sleek machines' which range in price from $88 to $440, a lot of money back in those days. Note that back in '71, no one wore a helmet except those guys who were in bike races...........

The magazine offers a generous ten pages of 'Bunnies of 1971,' and I've no doubt that these ladies - whether blonde, brunette, short-haired or long-haired, well deserved that exalted status. 

 

 

And that's what you got for your one dollar, 55 years ago in those days of 1971.

Midnight Thud

'Midnight Thud'

from Penitentiary III (1987)

Penitentiary III, released in 1987, featured one of the more unusual characters in the series.

 

'Midnight Thud' was a ferocious dwarf, used by prison boss 'Mr. Serengeti' (Anthony Geary, of 'Luke and Laura' / General Hospital renown) to attack any inmate who crossed Serengeti's ambitions. 

photo courtesy of Brady Carlson

  

At night, Thud would crawl through the ventilation ducts, and, snarling and growling, drop into a cell and gnaw off a particularly vulnerable portion of the victim's anatomy.......

 

Thud goes into action at the 14:00 mark in this YouTube posting of Penitentiary III.  

 

At the 20:00 mark, our hero Too Sweet (Leon Isaac Kennedy), has his own reckoning with Midnight Thud...... 

 

Midnight Thud was played by wrestler the 'Haiti Kid' (aka Raymond Kessler) of World Wrestling Federation fame.

'80s wrestling' Instagram

 

Does it get any better than that, for 80s pop culture ?!

Book Review: The Jewel in the Skull by Michael Moorcock

Book Review: 'The Jewel in the Skull' by Michael Moorcock

 

5 / 5 Stars

'The Jewel in the Skull' first was published in the US in 1967 by Lancer Books. Moorcock was unhappy with Lancer's editing of his novel, and thus, the 'preferred' edition of 'Jewel' is that issued by DAW Books in January, 1977 (176 pp., DAW Books No. 225, cover art by Richard Clifton-Dey).

 

This is the first volume in the so-called 'History of the Runestaff' series, with the additional volumes 'The Mad God's Amulet' (1968), 'The Sword of the Dawn' (1968), and 'The Runestaff' (1969).

Probably the best way to acquire all four Runestaff novels is with the 2013 Gollancz trade paperback omnibus, 'Hawkmoon: The History of the Runestaff.'

 

'Jewel' is set thousands of years in the future, after the Europe we know has collapsed and been replaced by myriad kingdoms and principalities, all consumed with petty wars and disagreements. Ominously, the Dark Empire of Granbretan (i.e., the UK), aided by illegitimate sciences and magicks, is encroaching into the Continent. One by one, the countries of Europe are being subdued by the ruthless Empire. 

 

The province of Kamarg, in southern France, remains aloof from the conflicts elsewhere by virtue of the formidable Count Brass, its ruler. To deter invaders, Brass has raised a line of defensive towers equipped with arcane weapons, and his infantry, although small in number, are well-trained, fierce fighters. Kamarg the strongest state in the Continent.
 

As 'Jewel' opens, Brass is warned about the designs of Granbretan by his advisor, the sage Bowgentle. Brass is unperturbed by this warning, leading Bowgentle to remark of the Granbretans: 

"Their cruelty is without precedent. They are insane. Their souls are sick with a love for all that is evil and a hatred for all that is noble." 

 

Speaking on the Dark Empire's recent conquest of the European province of Koln, Bowgentle has this to say:

 

"In Koln their sport was to crucify every girlchild in the city, make eunuchs of the boys, and have all the adults who would save their lives perform lewd displays in the streets. That is no natural cruelty, Count, and was by no means their worst. Their entertainment is to debase all humanity." 

 

(strong stuff for a fantasy novel first published in 1967 !) 

 

The prince of Koln, one Dorian Hawkmoon, led the futile defense of that state and has been captured by the malevolent Baron Meliadus. Hoping to subdue Kamarg without mounting an invasion, Meliadus offers Hawkmoon his life, provided Hawkmoon infiltrates Count Brass's court and kidnaps the Count's daughter, Yisselda. Dispirited by his defeat, Hawkmoon agrees. But the bargain includes a sinister rider: Hawkmoon has a black jewel embedded in his forehead, a jewel that allows the Baron and the Dark Empire the ability to see everything that Hawkmoon sees. Should Hawkmoon try any treachery, then the jewel will begin to eat away at his brain. 

 

Will Hawkmoon carry out the Baron's plan, and subvert the last free nation in Europe ? If Hawkmoon tries to rebel, will the jewel end his life ? Questions dark and dramatic, all to be answered before the closing sentence of the 'Jewel in the Skull'....... 

This is a very entertaining fantasy / science fantasy novel, with themes and characters that prefigure Moorcock's most well-known franchise, the 'Elric of Melnibone' franchise. 

 

Despite being published almost 60 years ago, 'Jewel' has a very 'modern' sensibility, and a prose style that is considerably more sophisticated than that being deployed in sword & sorcery titles of the same era. It's also a demonstration of Moorcock's ability to create convincing characters and world-building within a 176-page limit, a favorable accomplishment when compared with 21st-century novels (where lengths of more than 500 pages are routine for the genre). 

 

if you're a fan of sword-and-sorcery, and harder-edged fantasy novels, then 'The Jewel in the Skull' is well worth reading. 

Book Review: 'Long Train Running: Our Story of the Doobie Brothers' by Tom Johnston and Pat Simmons with Chris Epting

Book Review: 'Long Train Running: Our Story of the Doobie Brothers' by Tom Johnston and Pat Simmons with Chris Epting

5 / 5 Stars
 

'Long Train Running' (352 pp.) was published by St. Martin's Press in 2022.

 

[ As I write this in early August 2026, the Doobies still are together, and touring the nation in the Fall of 2026. This core lineup includes Tom Johnston, Pat Simmons, Michael McDonald, and Jeff McFee, but of course, you never know who just might show up for a number or two]  

 

If you're a Baby Boomer then you know about the Doobie Brothers, whose songs were ubiquitous on FM and AM radio from 1972 to 1982. 

 

[ For those under age 60, the term 'doobie' was sixties-era slang for a marijuana joint. I don't think I've heard anyone use the word 'doobie,' since I was in high school in the late 1970s.......]

 

The band was formed by San Jose residents Tom Johnston, Pat Simmons, Dave Shogren, and John Hartman in 1970, who consciously modeled their approach to composing on the San Francisco band Moby Grape.

 

Over the years the Doobie's lineup has undergone considerable changes (the band's Wikipedia listing of members scrolls for several pages), but Simmons always has served as the foundational member and leader of the band.

 

Back in the 1970s and early 1980s, before the days of the internet, the band was somewhat 'faceless' in the sense that if you didn't subscribe to Rolling Stone, Creem, or Crawdaddy, you had no real sources for up-to-date information on the status of bands, their members, and their activities. So 'Long Train' fills in a lot of gaps in my own (rather limited) knowledge about the Doobies.

 

'Long Train' is constructed around reminiscences from Johnston and Simmons, starting chronologically from their childhood days, and ending up in early 2021. Interspersed with the comments from Johnston and Simmons are contributions from other members and associates, such as producer Ted Templeman, bassist Tiran Porter, road manager and publicist Dan Fong, and vocalist and keyboard player McDonald, among others.

 

As a co-writer, Epting does a good job of keeping the narrative flowing, while allowing Johnston and Simmons to provide the sort of in-depth, first-person recollections of days and times gone by that fans of the band, and seventies music, will be interested in. Johnston and Simmons provide plentiful insights into the songwriting and recording processes that will be enlightening to Doobies fans.

 

At times Johnston and Simmons temper their observations about what likely were the more strained incidents in the band's history, but that is to be expected.......One thing the book delivers is those 'you are there' accounts of how things were in the 70s and 80s, when wine, women, drugs, and excess were commonplace amusements for rock stars. I mean, guitarist Jeff 'Skunk' Baxter, in a hotel room at the Sheraton Universal in L.A. with Jaye P. Morgan, famed for her breast exposure on The Gong Show ?! Jaye now is 94 years old, but she knew how to have a good time, back in the day......

 

The book contains two lengthy sections of black-and-white and color photographs which are effective in chronicling the personnel, shows, and social interactions of the Doobies. 

 

Needless to say, as you go through the pages of 'Long Train' you'll want to have your phone or tablet at hand to look up and listen to the myriad tracks and LPs that are described in the book. 

 

For fans not just of the Doobies, but of the Seventies and Eighties rock scenes, then 'Long Train' will be an engaging read. Five of Five Stars ! 

Repost: 'Baby Come On' 

from the Sex O'Clock USA soundtrack

Fifty years ago, in 1976, this track, from the LP of the documentary film Sex O'Clock USA, entered the airwaves. 

 

No finer groove can be had, even after the passage of five decades..........

Aliens The Original Years Volume 3

Aliens: The Original Years Volume 3 (1992-1994)

Epic Collection, Marvel, 2025

So, Marvel comics, which now owns the rights to the Aliens franchise, has begun reprinting the old Dark Horse comics from the late 1980s and 1990s under Marvel's 'Epic Collection' imprint. Three Volumes, all trade paperbacks, now are out, with Volume 4 scheduled for a Fall, 2026 release.

I never was much of a fan of the Dark Horse Aliens comics from the late 1980s, so I haven't paid much attention to Volume 1 or Volume 2. But with the comics compiled in Volume 3, you have some good stuff, stuff I bought when it first came out in the early 1990s, so I sprang for Volume 3 as an alternative to digging through the boxes in my basement.

[I purchased this book from MyComicShop, an online vendor whose prices might not be the very lowest, but they don't ship plainly used copies masquerading as 'new,' and their shipping boxes and packaging always are top-quality.] 

The outstanding entry in Volume 3 undoubtedly is 'Aliens: Labyrinth,' from 1993 - 1994. Written by Jim Woodring and featuring amazing art by newcomer Kilian Plunkett, this four-issue story combined grue with intelligent plotting and dark humor to deliver what I consider the best of the Dark Horse Aliens comics. 

What's great about this Volume 3 is that includes the shorter prologue, 'Aliens: Backsplash,' that appeared in the monthly anthology 'Dark Horse Comics.' 'Backsplash' was a true mix of Aliens with splatterpunk !

Another of the better 1990s installments of the franchise, 'Aliens: Sacrifice,' is here included. Relying more on an atmosphere of creeping dread than gunslinging action, it remains one of the more memorable graphic novels of Dark Horse's early days.

The remaining contents of Volume 3 are a mixed bag. 'Aliens: Rogue,' from 1993, has a reasonably convincing storyline, but the artwork, by Will Simpson, had a sketchy quality that didn't come across all that well, particularly when it received one of the less appealing coloration schemes seen in an early-1990s era comic book. As coloring goes, it's as bad as what you'd see in a Vertigo comic from that year.

Also underwhelming is the comic book adaptation of the third film in the franchise, Alien 3. The color scheme tries to reproduce the dark palette of the film, but the state of comic book coloration wasn't up to the task, back in '93. And the artwork by Christopher Taylor, who for some reason preferred to render human heads as Cuboidal Objects. 

 

A real oddity here in Volume 3, are all 12 issues of something called 'Aliens: Space Marines.' Not to be confused with the series 'Aliens: Colonial Marines' (which is going to be reprinted in Volume 4), 'Space Marines' apparently is a minicomic that was packaged with early 1990s Kenner-brand Aliens toys (or, err, 'action figures'). I'd never heard of 'Space Marines.' The series suffers from being reproduced at its original size; keep your reading glasses handy for these comics.....

Rounding out the collection are the series 'Horror Show,' and the one-shot 'Earth Angel.' 

 

Who will want 'Aliens: The Original Years Volume 3' ? Well, with the four hardcover 'Aliens: The Original Years' omnibuses (omnibi ?) long out of print, and having steep asking prices, these Epic Collection trade paperbacks are a more affordable way to access these comics from 30+ years ago. Just be accepting of the fact that there are some lesser entries in these compilations, that's all.............