National Lampoon October 1985

National Lampoon

October, 1985

October, 1985, and sitting at number one on the Top 40 is the Norwegian band A-Ha, with 'Take on Me.'
 

The latest issue of the National Lampoon is on the stands, with the theme of an 'All-Star Music Issue.' The magazine is in something of a transition period; as founder Matty Simmons states in his book 'If You Don't Buy this Book, We'll Kill this Dog: Life, Laughs, Love and Death at the National Lampoon,' he had fired a portion of the editorial staff, replacing these with his sons Michael and Andy Simmons, in an effort to boost circulation and advertising. This strategy had improved the Lampoon's fortunes somewhat, but the magazine's glory days of the 1970s clearly had passed. 

 

The comics are the best thing about this October issue. We get full color with 'Trots and Bonnie,' as our heroine discovers the reality of forming a band: clashes over creative directions can be challenging to manage.

'First Gig,' by Andy Simmons, Peter Kleinman, and Rob Orzechowski, presents the adventures of Nice Jewish Boy Irwin Nadler, and his rise to musical glory with the Rolling Stones.

 

 

 

Speaking of Nice Jewish Boys, Drew and Josh Alan Friedman take acidic aim at the hapless Frank Sinatra, Jr.

 

In '85, Yuppies were a major target of pop culture scrutiny and the Lampoon provides a centerfold featuring yuppies in quintessential 'preppy' garb.........

A parody of Rolling Stone, Rollin' Home, takes aim at the entrenched worship of elderly, black bluesmen by white, urban hipsters. The faux-interview with bluesman 'Interstate Brickman' is a spot-on mockery of Jan Wenner's editorial attitudes.........
 

 

 

 

In that October of '85 the 'Foto Funnies' still were lively.......

Let's close out our survey of the Lampoon with a cartoon..........

And that's how it was, in the pages of the Lampoon, 41 years ago.........

Mark Petrie is Awakened

Mark Petrie is awakened

from ''Salem's Lot,' by Stephen King, 1975

 

Chapter Ten

The Lot (III)

Something had awakened him.

He lay still in the ticking dark, looking at the ceiling.

A noise. Some noise. But the house was silent.

There it was again. Scratching.

Mark Petrie turned over in bed and looked through the window and Danny Glick was staring in at him through the glass, his skin grave-pale, his eyes reddish and feral. Some dark substance was smeared around his lips and chin , and when he saw Mark looking at him, he smiled and showed teeth grown hideously long and sharp.

“Let me in,” the voice whispered, and Mark was not sure if the words had crossed dark air or were only in his mind.

Book Review: Cthulhu's Reign edited by Darrell Schweitzer

Book Review: 'Cthulhu's Reign' edited by Darrell Schweitzer

3 / 5 Stars

'Cthulhu's Reign' (309 pp.) was published by DAW Books (No. 1507) in April, 2010. The cover artist is uncredited.

 

In his Introduction, editor Schweitzer establishes the premise for this anthology: Cthulhu and the Old Ones have emerged triumphant, in control not just of Earth, but perhaps the entire cosmos. Who will survive, and what will be left of them ?

 

My capsule summaries of the contents (all of which were written exclusively for this anthology):

 

The Walker in the Cemetery, by Ian Watson: a group of tourists wandering in the sprawling Staglieno cemetery in Genoa witness the coming of the Old Ones. Life quickly becomes very hazardous. A creepy tale from author Watson, who passed away on April 13 of this year.

 

Sanctuary, by Don Webb: in the little Texas town of Doublesign, people try to cope with the Reign by gathering and praying in the church. Maybe invoking eldritch, pagan rituals will appease the powers that be ? 

 

Her Acres of Pastoral Playground, by Mike Allen: Delmar's command of Eldritch Knowledge means that his rural parcel is shielded from the horrors of Cthulhu's Reign. Until, that is, a tentacle sprouts from his wife's cheek......

 

Spherical Trigonometry, by Ken Asamatsu: when the Old Ones seize control of Japan, a wealthy genius makes for the Womb, a refuge that is impenetrable to cosmic horrors. Asamatsu, whose first language is Nihongo, offers one of the better stories in the anthology. 

 

What Brings the Void, by Will Murray: pulp author Murray passed away on August 25. This story is about a federal agent who investigates an ominous 'processing center' set up amid the chaotic landscape of the return of the Old Ones. Murray's prose is deliberately (?) clumsy: 

 

I tried to switch to the left to invoke the clairaudient function.

 

I heard a single clairaudient word. A mere whisper bubbling up from my unconscious mind: containers.

 

The New Pauline Corpus, by Matt Cardin: this is the second-worst story in the anthology. The author makes the case that the Reign of Cthulhu is the fulfillment of religious prophecy, in the manner of the Old Testament. The prose is clotted and at times, incoherent. I'm not sure why editor Schweitzer didn't just send this manuscript back with a polite note.......

 

Ghost Dancing, by Darrell Schweitzer: Robert Tillinghast has a plan to endure in a world overtaken by the Old Ones. It may involve some Abominable Acts. Are you willing to join him, if it saves your life ?!

 

This Is How the World Ends, by John R. Fultz: the first-person narrator is an Iraqi war veteran, and handy with a .45 Desert Eagle handgun. Will that be enough to survive in a world overrun with Eldritch Horrors ?!

 

The Shallows, by John Langan: a man named Ransom struggles to survive in the nightmarish landscape of a world under Cthulhu's Reign. He spends much of his time reminiscing about how his late wife, who was dying of cancer, adopted a stray dog named Bruce. This story is very, very dull.

 

Such Bright and Risen Madness in Our Names, by Jay Lake: survivors of the advent of the Old Ones plot to undermine the power of those humans serving as priests to such Abominations.

 

The Seals of New R'lyeh, by Gregory Frost: two thieves find that having a criminal mindset is a great asset to have, in the Reign of Cthulhu.........

 

The Holocaust of Ecstasy, by Brian Stableford: Richard Tremeloe, of Arkham, Massachusetts, finds himself converted into a kind of humanized fruit, in the aftermath of Cthulhu's Reign. He has lengthy conversations with a 'un-man' from Pnakotus. For no particular reason Stableford deploys the noun (?) 'fructicarnivore.' It's plain that he phoned in this contribution.

 

Vastation, by Laird Barron: an omnipotent entity, who may be the Devil, resists the advent of the Old Ones. This story is a self-conscious effort at a 'metafiction,' and badly overplays the rushed, hipster diction of an early Neal Stephenson ('Zodiac,' 1988). Barron uses the term 'conculated,' to show just how hip the story is. It's the worst story in the anthology..........

 

Nothing Personal, by Richard A. Lupoff: a groovy sci-fi sensibility permeates this tale of the advent of the Old Ones, and the response of the interplanetary Terran space force.

 

Remnants, by Fred Chappell: in the aftermath of Cthulhu's Reign, Vern, his mom, and his autistic sister Echo struggle to survive in their wilderness refuge. When Echo begins channeling some sort of ethereal signals, should Vern embark on a dangerous journey to a place of aid ? This novella takes an unexpected turn at its halfway point, and in so doing ends with an offbeat, entertaining quality.

 

The verdict ? There are enough good stories to give 'Reign' a Three Star Rating. Those other than Mythos aficionados, probably can pass on it.

At McKay Books September 2026

At McKay Books

Manassas, VA September 2024

Last month I drove up to Manassas and the McKay used book store (not to be confused with McKay's bookstores, which are a completely different franchise, operating in Tennessee and North Carolina). 

 

I'm not a fan of 'Perry Rhodan,' but McKay had quite a collection available.....
 

Perry Rhodan aside, I wound up getting a quartet of vintage, 1970s sci-fi paperbacks, all of these in very good+ condition.

McKay always has a sizeable collection of graphic novels, so I found three books, all reasonably priced, from Marvel, DC, and Dark Horse.

I also picked up Steven Thrower's massive 'Nightmare USA,' a 2007 tome - and that's the right word - dedicated to exploitation cinema of the 1970s and 1980s. I'm not a trash cinema aficionado, but the size and production values of this book (528 high-quality paper stock pages, weighing over 5 lb) were enough to persuade me to pick it up.

 

 

All in all, another trip to McKay and some affordable, rewarding, acquisitions, for $62.50 total. Being a Paperback Fanatic is a low-cost hobby, and that's OK with me..........

Book Review: The Reaping by Bernard Taylor

Book Review: 'The Reaping' by Bernard Taylor

4 / 5 Stars

'The Reaping' first was published in hardcover (237 pp.) by St. Martin's Press in 1980. A mass market paperback edition was published by Leisure Books in February 1982. The Leisure Books paperback edition is rather pricey; also available is a Valancourt Books paperback reprint, published in November, 2023, under the 'Paperbacks from Hell' imprint. The Valancourt edition has memorable cover art; certainly, more memorable than that of the hardcover and Leisure editions.......

'The Reaping' is set in the UK in the early 1980s. The protagonist is a middle-aged man named Tom Rigby who owns and operates an arts and crafts store in London. The store is a successful enterprise, but Rigby has considerable angst over his failure to live out his dream of being a celebrated artist. 

 

[Like many protagonists in Paperbacks from Hell, Rigby is a moron. Much of the storyline is propelled by his being too dimwitted to understand that he's lurching into some questionable situations.]  

 

His girlfriend, an attractive young woman named Ilona, is willing to date a widower with young children, but with a burgeoning career as a makeup artist, traveling around the world to film sets, Ilona is reluctant to take the relationship further than the casual stage. In the opening chapters we learn that Ilona's career aspirations are a source of tension in her relationship with Rigby.

When Rigby gets an offer from a matron named Mrs Weldon for a portrait-painting commission, for a healthy fee, initially he rejects it. But several chapters into the novel Rigby does agree to the commission, and travels to the Somerset countryside and an isolated estate known as Woolvercombe House. Woolvercombe houses a collection of eccentrics, foremost among them the mistress of the house, a crone named Miss Stewart. It is she who has commissioned the painting; the subject is Stewart's ward, a stunning girl named Catherine.

 

Rigby is told he can stay at Woolvercombe as long as needed to complete the painting, but finding his artistic ambitions renewed, he quickly gets to work painting Catherine.

 

As the days progress Rigby becomes aware of strange places and people on the grounds of the estate. There is the cohort of young women who wear nun's habits, and reside on a parcel of the grounds that is off-limits to Rigby. A room in the House that is outfitted as a medical clinic. A strange medieval tower, also located on a portion of the estate that is prohibited to visitors.  

 

Rigby's disquiet at the goings-on at Woolvercombe further are complicated when Catherine comes to his bedroom at night, in a decidedly amorous mood. Is she a damsel in distress, awarding her potential rescuer ?

 

As Rigby is about to discover, what he doesn't know about Woolvercombe House and its strange activities is going to rebound upon him, with unpleasant consequences...........

'The Reaping' is another of those novels ('Rosemary's Baby,' 'The Other,' 'The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane,' 'Burnt Offerings,' etc.) published early in the Paperbacks from Hell era, when 'good taste' demanded that the horror content be introduced with deliberation. It was commonplace for authors to salt their narratives with episodes of mild creepiness, but withhold more graphic depictions of grue and terror until well into the denouement. Unsurprisingly, these more dilatory horror novels required considerable patience from the reader.

I had my doubts about 'The Reaping' until well into the denouement, but there, I must say, author Taylor does deliver revelations and horrors that are well-crafted, uncontrived, and adequately repay the reader for his or her investment.

 

I'm fine with giving 'The Reaping' a rating of Four Stars. As the review at Too Much Horror Fiction states, readers must prepare for "Suspense [that] builds in workmanlike style," and if this appeals to you, then this Paperback from Hell is worth acquiring. 

My Top 25 Horror Stories October 2026

My Top 25 Horror Stories 

October 2026 

 

I've been reading horror stories since 1970, when I was 9 years old and I saw a copy of Alfred Hitchcock's Monster Museum (Random House, 1965) on the shelf of my grammar school library. 

While most of the stories in the book were rather tame - it was aimed at an audience of juvenile Baby Boomers, after all - Joseph Payne Brennan's story 'Slime' immediately gripped my attention, and from then on, my interest in the genre began, and has lasted since.

Every year now, for Autumn and 'Spooky Stories Season,' I provide a list of my 'Top 2x' horror short stories. The list grows with each passing year, and now stands at 25. These are stories that (in my humble opinion) are the better ones I've encountered in 56 years of reading all manner of horror fiction. For the 2026 list, I've changed one entry.

 

Since it's the interval covered by this blog, I've concentrated on stories that first saw print from the early 1960s into the mid-1990s. I've posted a brief synopses for each story, to jog memories and to give the reader a sense of what to expect.

One problem with focusing on such stories is that in many instances the books where they first appeared long are out of print, and copies in good condition have steep asking prices. Accordingly, where available, I've tried to provide alternate sources for obtaining these stories.

My Top 25, in chronological order:

The First Days of May, by Claude Veillot, The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction, December 1961; Tales of Terror from Outer Space, 1975

‘Alien invasion’ theme, with some convincing bug-eyed monsters. A pdf copy is available here.

***

One of the Dead, by William Wood, The Saturday Evening Post, October 31, 1964; Alfred Hitchcock Presents: Scream Along with Me; A Walk with the Beast, 1969; Great American Ghost Stories, 1991

Although a bit overwritten, this is a well-crafted melding of the haunted house theme with the anomie of mid-1960s life in suburban Los Angeles.  

***

The Road to Mictlantecutli, by Adobe James, Adam Bedside Reader, 1965; The Sixth Pan Book of Horror Stories,1965; The Arbor House Treasury of Horror and the Supernatural, 1981

Morgan, a ruthless criminal, is travelling on a mysterious road in Mexico. The strange sights and passions he encounters will lead him to change his life........for good, or for ill.

'Adobe James' was the pseudonym of American writer James Moss Cardwell (1926 – 1990), who had his short stories published in a variety of magazines and anthologies during the 1960s, 1970s, and 1980s. 

***

Longtooth, by Edgar Pangborn, The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction, January 1970; The Best of Modern Horror, 1989

A resident of rural Maine discovers something disturbing in the deep, dark woods. A pdf copy is available here.

***

Goat, by David Campton, New Writings in Horror and the Supernatural #1, 1971; Whispers: An Anthology of Fantasy and Horror, 1977

Creepy goings-on in an English village. A fine early example of what now is classified as 'folk horror.'

 

***

The Human Side of the Village Monster, by Edward Bryant, Universe 1, 1970; Among the Dead and Other Events Leading Up to the Apocalypse, 1973

 

Despite its cumbersome title, this is a well-composed tale about a near-future New York City ruined by overpopulation and Eco-Catastrophe. It seems to have a predictable denouement, but veers off into an unexpected, but unpleasant, direction.

***

Satanesque, by Alan Weiss, The Literary Magazine of Fantasy and Terror, #6, 1974; The Year’s Best Horror Stories: Series III, 1975

Starts off on a thoroughly conventional note, then unexpectedly transitions into something entirely imaginative and offbeat.

 

***

The Shortest Way, by David Drake, Whispers #3, March 1974; From the Heart of Darkness, 1983; Vettius and His Friends, 1989;  Night & Demons, 2012

A 'Vettius' story set in the days of the Roman empire. Our hero elects to travel on a road that the locals take care to avoid. An atmospheric, memorable tale.

***

The Taste of Your Love, by Eddy C. Bertin, The Year’s Best Horror Stories: Series III, 1975; The Whispering Horror, 2013

One of the better Serial Killer tales I’ve read.

***

The Changer of Names, by Ramsey Campbell, Swords Against Darkness II, 1977; The Year’s Best Fantasy Stories: 4, 1978; Far Away and Never, 2021

I've never been a fan of Campbell’s horror stories and novels, but his sword-and-sorcery stories featuring the ‘Ryre’ character are entertaining exercises in creepiness. There are metaphors and similes abounding in the Ryre tales, to be sure, but as compared to Campbell's horror stories the purple prose is reduced in scope, and plotting receives due consideration. 

While the Swords Against Darkness paperbacks have exorbitant asking prices, a new (October 2021) reprint of Far Away and Never from DMR Press collects all four of the Ryre stories, along with other fantasy tales from Campbell's early career.  

***

Long Hollow Swamp, by Joseph Payne Brennan, Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine, January 1976; The Year’s Best Horror Stories: Series V, 1977

A great 'monsters-on-the-loose' tale from Brennan.

***

Sing A last Song of Valdese, by Karl Edward Wagner, Chacal #1, Winter 1976; The Year’s Best Horror Stories: Series V, 1977; Night Winds, 1978, 1983

One of two entries in this Top 25 list by Wagner, who wrote his share of duds, but when he was On, he was On. In a remote forest, a lone traveler comes upon an inn filled with sinister characters. A pdf copy is available here.

***

Window, by Bob Leman, The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction, May 1980; The 1981 Annual World’s Best SF, 1981; The Best of Modern Horror, 1989

A neat mix of sci-fi and horror, revolving around a portal to another dimension. A pdf copy is available here.

***

Where the Summer Ends, by Karl Edward Wagner, Dark Forces, August 1980; In A Lonely Place, 1983; The American Fantasy Tradition, 2002

 

A second entry from Wagner. It’s hot, humid, and dangerous in 1970s Knoxville. Stay away from the kudzu !

***

The New Rays, by M. John Harrison, Interzone #1, Spring 1982, The Year’s Best Horror Stories: Series XI, 1983; The Weird: A Compendium of Strange and Dark Stories, 2012

A disturbing tale about disease and the desperate search for a cure, with proto-steampunk leanings. 

***

After-Images, by Malcolm John Edwards, Interzone #4, Spring 1983, The Year’s Best Horror Stories: Series XII, 1984; Interzone: The First Anthology, 1986

Another fine melding of sci-fi and horror, this time set in an English suburb. It’s too bad that Edwards, a playwright and editor, didn’t write more short stories. A pdf copy is available here.

***

The Man with Legs, by Al Sarrantonio, Shadows No. 6, October 1983, The Year’s Best Horror Stories: Series XII, 1984

Two kids learn some disturbing secrets about their family history.

***

High Tide, by Leanne Frahm, Fears, 1983

Frahm, an Australian writer, sets this novelette in the vicinity of the Newry Islands in coastal Queensland. A family camping trip to Mud Island discovers something strange is going on amidst the mangrove swamps: Eco-horror at its creepiest !

 

***

Red Christmas, by David Garnett, The Year's Best Horror Stories: Series XIV, 1986

What seems like a conventional Mad Slasher story has a neat little twist at the end.

 

                                                                        *** 

The Man Who Drowned Puppies, by Thomas Sullivan, Masques II, 1987, Dark Masques, 2001. 

 

His name is MacIver, and he alone is willing to do what other people won't. An extremely well-crafted story, with the right note of pathos. 

 

                                                                        *** 

Salvage Rites, by Ian Watson, The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction, January 1987, The Best of Modern Horror, 1989

 

Tim and Rosy, an English couple of modest means, take a trip to the town dump…….which, they discover, has its problems. 

***

 

Mengele, by Lucius Shepard, Universe 15, 1985, The Jaguar Hunter, 1988

Troubling things are going on at an estate located in a remote region of Paraguay.

***

The Picknickers, by Brian Lumley, Final Shadows, 1991, The Year's Best Horror Stories: XX, 1992

 

Unsettling events are happening in the graveyard of a Welsh coal-mining village. Starts slow, but gradually unfolds into genuine creepiness.

***

Under the Crust, by Terry Lamsley (1993); The Mammoth Book of New Terror, 2004

 

Like Ian Watson's 'Salvage Rites,' above, this is another tale set in the confines of a UK rubbish dump ('tip'), this one, Dove Holes near Buxton (Brits seem to have a real talent for mingling landfills with horror themes). In 'Crust,' Maurice's encounter with some creepy habitues of Dove Holes eventually leads him into Lovecraftian territory. Atmospheric and imaginative.

 

Aftertaste, by John Shirley, Bones of the Children, 1996, Black Butterflies, 2001

 

The Zombie Apocalypse comes to the ghetto. A great tale from Shirley, mixing splatterpunk with irreverent humor.