National Lampoon May 1976

National Lampoon
May, 1976

May, 1976, and on the Billboard Hot 100, the number-one song in the country is 'Welcome Back', the theme song to the TV show 'Welcome Back Kotter', by John Sebastian.

Looking at the cover of the May, 1976 issue of the National Lampoon, we see this is the 'Unwanted Foreigners' issue, sure to satirize ethnic and cultural identities, and thus, to offend..........

The advertising features the latest album from Paul McCartney and Wings, along with a humorous treatment of Scotch cassette tapes.

The 'Facts' section provides some real-life misadventures. The one involving the motorcycle is my favorite.

The 'Unwanted Foreigners' theme goes transgressive, without hesitation, with a satiric portrayal of Africa, couched as a high school social studies textbook.

In the interests of Equity and equal opportunity disparagement, editor P. J. O'Rourke takes aim at Europeans, and the member states of the European Economic Community (a sort of particularly hapless early version of the European Union) with 'EEC ! It's the U.S. of E !

Written by Tony Hendra, the article showcases amazing puppets and dioramas handcrafted by Peter Nigel Luck and Roger Law (no such things as AI and Photoshop, back in 1976). Hendra, Luck, and Law all were Brits, so they brought a particularly vicious sensibility (that might not otherwise be present in an American humor periodical) to mocking the EEC.

Another outstanding piece of art in this May issue is an oil painting by none other than Boris Vallejo. A sure sign that in the 1970s, the Lampoon could afford top talent:

Probably the most offensive segment in the May issue was O'Rourke's 'Foreigners Around the World', the kind of article that never would be allowed to see the light of day in this 21st century. 

Each ethnic vignette has just enough bald truth, and nastiness, to make the best formula for derision. The black-and-white illustrations, by Randy Jones, are brilliant caricatures.

Whew ! After all that Transgression, let's have some lighter fare. How about a nice bit of nudity, with 'Foto Funnies.' There's also a mockery of the 'Peanuts' comic strip.

And that's how it was, 48 (!) years ago in the pages of the National Lampoon.........

Book Review: Brak the Barbarian

Book Review: 'Brak the Barbarian' by John Jakes

 4 / 5 Stars

This slim (160 pp.) little volume of 'Brak' tales was issued by Tandem Books (UK) in 1976. The striking cover art is by Bob Fowke. Some of the stories in this compilation first saw print in the mid-1960s in Fantastic Stories, while others were composed by Jakes expressly for the initial 1968 paperback printing. 

'Brak the Barbarian' has been reprinted in various paperback editions through the years, including a Pocket Books edition in 1977.

In the Tandem Books edition, we get 'The Unspeakable Shrine', 'Flame-Face', 'The Courts of the Conjurer', 'Ghosts of Stone', and 'The Barge of Souls'. 

As I have stated in my reviews of other entries in the Brak franchise, these stories are as good as the Conan pastiches of Lin Carter, with his 'Thongor' stories. In the tales collected in 'Brak the Barbarian' the horror element - and the gore and violence - are considerably more overt, as are the intentions of the beauteous women who try to tempt our hero from his quest to arrive in the shining southern city of Kurdisan. 

Here's an example of the sensibility Jakes brings to the chapter / story 'Flame Face':

Somewhere along the endless corridor on to which the rock pens opened, a prisoner shrieked in the grip of dementia. Guard boots slammed. A bolt was shot back. An argument ensued. The maniacal captive could not be silenced.

All at once, his burbling came sharply to a stop. Coarse laughter and the slower footfalls of the guards indicated that a dagger had served where blows and oaths would not. On more than one occasion the big barbarian had seen a troublemaker thus dispatched in the mines, his corpse flung into the glaring furnaces.

In the story 'The Barge of Souls', Jakes provides a grim and evocative description of the aftermath of a titanic battle:

At highest noon, the sun was but a pale silver-white disc through the murk overhead. Everywhere lay bodies, whole or dismembered, stinking blood that mingled with the richer, redder stuff bled out of horses slaughtered by the hundreds.  Brak saw grisly remains of war engines, and all the paraphernalia of a gigantic combat.

The ground beneath the pony's hooves was loamy. This silt partially covered many of the bodies.....

Jakes's post-pulp approach to the Sword and Sorcery genre holds up well some sixty years after these stories first saw print. If you're a fan of the genre, then having some Brak titles in your personal library is recommended.

At the library sale April 2024

At the library sale 

April 2024

Earlier this month, it once again was time to patronize the annual library sale, held at a shopping center in the northern part of town. 

With each passing year attendance continues to grow, and on opening day, the lines to get in the door are getting longer and longer.

I made a couple of trips, and came away with a decent enough selection of hardcovers and paperbacks.

I was surprised to see that Robert Sheckley had authored an entry in the 'Aliens' franchise, 1995's 'Alien Harvest.' Given Sheckley's penchant for humor in his writings, it will be interesting to see what he does with the sci-fi horror theme that marks 'Aliens.'

The Alfred Hitchcock anthology is a monster of a book, at 631 pages. It has some entries from sci-fi stalwarts such as Barry Malzberg and Ron Goulart, as well as authors more anchored to the crime / thriller / horror genres, such as August Derleth, Bill Pronzini, Lawrence Block, and Brian Garfield.

'Psychlone', from Greg Bear, is an earlier work (1979), so I'm not sure what to expect there.

While I like Bruce Sterling's short stories and novelettes, his longer works can be hit-or-miss. I'll have to see how 'Holy Fire' turns out.

The 1970 Dell reprint of 'Cotton Comes to Harlem' was part of a movie tie-in. And I'm always up for another collection of Shirley Jackson short stories.

And that's the story of the library sale, April, 2024. Quite a lot of inventory for the sci-fi and fantasy section of the floor, but lots of the books were one I'm not overly interested in: many, many Stephen King hardbacks, Anne McCaffrey, Piers Anthony, Peter Hamilton, Dean Koontz, David Eddings, etc. The dealers usually wind up taking the bulk of those books. 

I was happy with what I got, it didn't cost me all that much, and with my car insurance and my cable bill going up by big margins this Spring, I'm looking for cheap thrills..............!

Book Review: Alfred Hitchcock's Noose Report

Book Review: 'Alfred Hitchcock's Noose Report'
edited by Robert Arthur

5 / 5 Stars

'Alfred Hitchcock's Noose Report' (191 pp.) was published by Dell Books in August, 1966. The cover illustration is credited to Fred Banbery, who did artwork for Hitchcock's young adult books.

I've previously posted that as I get older, I find these Baby Boomer-era Hitchcock anthologies to well be worth reading, and this certainly is true of 'Noose Report'. All of the stories in the book first were published in Alfred Hitchcock's Mystery Magazine during the years 1957 - 1966. 

My summaries of the contents:

A Home Away from Home, by Robert Bloch: Night-time, and Natalie finds herself alone at a train stop in rural England. Perhaps shelter is available with Dr. Bracegirdle, the psychiatrist ? A well-told tale, with the quality of a story from an old EC horror comic. 

High Tide, by Richard Hardwick: a man in trouble must use his wits. 

The World's Oldest Motive, by Laurence M. Janifer: an ironic treatment of the theme of the unhappy husband.

A Very Cautious Boy, by Gilbert Ralston: Joe Rosetti is the best hitman in the Mob. A new assignment will tax his skills, however.

Something Very Special, by Fletcher Flora: Clara DeForest is coming to terms with being abandoned by her much younger husband.

The Short and Simple Annals, by Dan J. Marlowe: Toland is released from prison, after serving time for a crime he didn't commit. Or did he........?!

Others Deal in Death, by August Derleth: another Solar Pons / Sherlock Holmes pastiche from Derleth. In this story, Pons investigates mysterious deaths taking place in Ross-on-Wye. The explanation of Whodunnit is not as contrived as is usually the case in these stories.

The Promotion, by Richard Deming: Mel Strong's brother is a bank official, and Mel likes ill-gotten gains. It's only a matter of time before these two things intersect........

Contents: One Body, by C.B. Gilford: a nosy landlady comes to some troubling conclusions about one of her tenants.

The Trouble with Ruth, by Henry Slesar: the trouble with Ruth is that she's a kleptomaniac. A tale with a twist at the end.

Make Your Pitch, by Borden Deal: Slim is a skilled con man. But his cons never have involved murder........

The Little Things, by Ed Lacy: a man unjustly imprisoned suffers an unkind fate.

Holdout, by Jack Ritchie: a courtroom drama, also with a neat little twist at the end.

The Late Unlamented, by Jonathan Craig: a standard, traditional police-procedural story. Competent, if not particularly imaginative.

The verdict ? Despite the banal Solar Pons story, 'Alfred Hitchcock's Noose Report' earns a Five-Star Rating. Even though they are limited in word length, the entries are crisply plotted and composed, as one might expect of stories designed to compete with myriad other submissions for publication in one of the most successful fiction magazines of its era. Devotees of well-told tales and detective fiction can't go wrong with this collection.  

Penthouse April 1980

Penthouse

April 1980

April, 1980, and the number-one song in the land is 'Another Brick in the Wall' by Pink Floyd, off their number one LP The Wall. Also in the top 5 is an excellent track from Christopher Cross: 'Ride Like the Wind'.

The latest issue of Penthouse magazine is on the newsstands, featuring Annie Hockersmith, this month's Pet, on the cover.

This issue is a little strange, in that it doesn't feature the traditional softcore photoshoot of boy-girl or girl-girl erotic activity. We do get a feature article about a man named 'Othello', who author Ernest Volkman claims was an FBI operative and informant on the Black Panthers. Although Volkman doesn't disclose the name of Othello, it's likely he was William O'Neal.

There is a fine portfolio of a petite, raven-haired Eurasian woman named Loni 'Haiku' Sanders. I like Loni. I think you will, too.

Bob Guccione was an artist and appreciative of art, so it's not unusual that we get a large portfolio of 'erotic' art as created by everyone's most famous eccentric artist of the early 1980s, none other than Hans Rudi Giger. 

Giger was more than a little calculating in the way he presented himself to the public, and he doesn't disappoint here, with his bizarre remarks that accompany the portfolio. Whether it's 'erotic' art, is up to you to decide. Personally, I think it's stuff that is just too fucked-up to be published in Omni or Heavy Metal.

There is a lengthy excerpt from actress Brit Ekland's memoir, 'True Brit'. In the excerpt, Brit tells us about her boyfriends Warren Beatty and Rod Stewart. While Warren was a come-and-go affair, Britt fell deep for Rod the Mod, despite his skin-flinty approach to money. 

Unfortunately for Britt, Rod (who called her 'Poopy') had too many side chicks, and Brit eventually left him for a man with more self-control.

Let's close with a couple of cartoons that likely would not pass muster nowadays..........

And that's how it was, in the pages of Penthouse, 44 years ago............